Since I don’t really know the specifics of a person’s love relationship, I offer this principle from my book and let the woman discover for herself what applies to her. That principle is this:

A woman attracts a man with her “bait” physically.
She “hooks” a man emotionally.
But she “lands” a man into a joyful marriage “spiritually.”

Here’s what I mean:

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BAIT, HOOK & LAND THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE!

My “fishing for love” metaphor as it applies to love involves 6 primary steps:

1) The Angler: The Woman
2) The Bait: Attraction
3) The Hook: Attachment
4) The Big Fish: The Man
5) The Strike: Falling in Love
5) The Net: Getting Commitment

None is more important or trickier than the hook (getting a secure and hopefully unshakable attachment). In order to accomplish this you need to be all three of these things, which I call the treble hook: 1) Hot, 2) Sweet, and 3) Enlightened.

Without all three of these hooks, your love attachment may loosen up over time or when confronted with adversity. And that’s how “the big one got away.”

HOOK #1: BE HOT

You can probably guess what being “hot” is all about. It possessing the qualities of beauty, self-confidence, style, charm, and sex appeal to name a few.

This perception of being “hot” is what made actress Sharon Stone in the movie Basic Instinct grab the attention of most men.

If you’re not particularly “hot” on the outside or in public, then be sure to be “hot” on the inside or in private.

HOOK #2: BE SWEET

The quality of being “sweet” involves warmth, kindness, compassion, thoughtfulness, vulnerability, innocence, and cheerfulness.

Actress Mega Ryan has played very lovable characters in movies such as When Harry Met Sally and Sleepless in Seattle which men found endearing.

If you tend to be “hot” on the outside, then be sure to be equally “sweet” on the inside if you really want to create a secure attachment with a man.

HOOK #3: BE ENLIGHTENED ABOUT LOVE & LIFE

The third and equally important quality is to be “enlightened” about love and life so that you can handle adversity and change so that love can grow and last. It is this quality of being “enlightened” or “centered” that causes a man to commit to marriage knowing that no matter what happens the woman will be able to handle it.

A movie that illustrated how an “enlightened” woman approaches love was Phenomenon starring Kyra Sedgwick and John Travolta.

This area of being enlightened may be one that the woman typically has to venture into and learn before her man ever does. And while this may seem like a tremendous additional burden, the alternative consequences (divorce or infidelity) are far more painful.

Note: Here's an excellent and interesting book that marriage-minded men and women should seriously check out. 'Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others: The Fascinating Research That Can Land You the Husband of Your Dreams'

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Steve Nakamoto is the author of the newly-released 'Dating Rocks!: The 21 Smartest Moves Women Make for Love' and the Writer’s Digest award-winning 'Men Are Like Fish: What Every Woman Needs to Know About Catching a Man' . Steve is a former human relations instructor for Dale Carnegie & Associates and NLP personal development trainer for motivational expert Tony Robbins. He has appeared on over 225 radio and TV talk shows including NBC’s The Other Half. Steve currently serves as the dating/relationship expert on iVillage.com’s “Ask Mr. Answer Man” online message board.

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To help you in these areas check out these excellent books:

'What a Difference a Year Makes: How Life's Unexpected Setbacks Can Lead to Unexpected Joy'
'Find a Husband After 35 Using What I Learned at Harvard Business School'
'What Southern Women Know: (That Every Woman Should) Timeless Secrets to Get Everything You Want in Love, Life, and Work'
'UpDating! : How to Get a Man or Woman Who Once Seemed Out of Your League'

'The Relationship Problem Solver'
'Is He A Man Or Just Another Guy?'
'How to Ruin Your Love Life'
'Nobody's Perfect: What to Do When You'Ve Fallen for a Jerk but You Want to Make It Work'

'Messages from the Masters : Tapping into the Power of Love'
'Don't Call That Man'
'And the Bride Wore White: The Seven Secrets to Sexual Purity (Fantastic Book for Teen Girls)'
'How to Be the Almost Perfect Husband: By Wives Who Know'
'The Art of Loving (Perennial Classics)'

'For Women Only: A Revolutionary Guide to Reclaiming Your Sex Life'
'Sex Toys 101 : A Playfully Uninhibited Guide'
'Facing Love Addiction : Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Love'
'Can Love Last?: The Fate of Romance over Time'
'Dateable: Are You? Are They?'

'What to Do Until Love Finds You: Getting Ready for Mr. Right'
'Infidelity: A Survival Guide'
'Real Love : The Truth About Finding Unconditional Love and Fulfilling Relationships'
'Wisdom from Gift from the Sea'
'Seduce Me! How to Ignite Your Partner's Passion'

'365 Questions for Couples'
'When Your Lover Is a Liar: Healing the Wounds of Deception and Betrayal'
'100 Simple Secrets of Great Relationships : What Scientists Have Learned and How You Can Use It'
'How to Heal a Broken Heart in 30 Days : A Day-by-Day Guide to Saying Good-bye and Getting On With Your Life'
'Mars and Venus Together Forever: Relationship Skills for Lasting Love'
'Secrets About Men Every Woman Should Know'

'Dear Lover: A Woman's Guide to Enjoying Love's Deepest Bliss'
'Unmarried to Each Other: The Essential Guide to Living Together as an Unmarried Couple'
'Long Distance Relationships: The Complete Guide'
'The New Couple: Why the Old Rules Don't Work and What Does'
'How To Pick Up Beautiful Women In Nightclubs or Any Other Place: Secrets Every Man Should Know'
'How to Get Your Lover Back : Successful Strategies for Starting Over (& Making It Better Than It Was Before)'

'Over 200 Proven Ways and Places to Pick Up Girls by an Average-Looking Guy: Over 100 Women Interviewed Tell How They Can Be Picked Up'
'Loving the Self-Absorbed: How to Create a More Satisfying Relationship with a Narcissistic Partner'
'We Love Each Other, but : Simple Secrets to Stregthen Your Relationship and Make Love Last'
'The Girls' Guide to Guys : Straight Talk for Teens on Flirting, Dating, Breaking Up, Making Up & Finding True Love'

'Become Outrageously Successful Attracting Women!!! A Guaranteed And Proven Method For Success!'
'Dating: A Singles Guide to a Fun, Flirtatious and Possibly Meaningful Social Life'
'A New Ladies' Man: Getting the Girl'
'Still Single?: You Don't Have to Be!'
'7 Secrets of a Healthy Dating Relationship'
'Sex and the Single Parent'
'The Mate Map: The Right Tool for Choosing the Right Mate'
'Smart Man Hunting: How to Get Out There, Get Dates and Get Mr. Right'

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Good luck with improving your “treble hook” for love. It will help you create that unshakable love attachment that withstands the tests of time and adversity.

Remember that love is the keeper and it only takes one.

Best wishes,

Steve Nakamoto