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| Okay, so you want to be a slacker? Well, first, you must not do any work. That includes homework or taking out the trash or mowing the lawn (which is pointless anyway). Next, you got to get some snacks, because no slacker is complete without a slew of unhealthy snacks to satisfy your hunger while you.. don't do stuff. So, that brings us into our first subcategory. Reccomended Slacker Food: 'Ice Cream by Mail' Ben and Jerrys is indeed an evil corporation, but WHO CARES?! Ice cream by mail! You could walk right to your door and have ice cream waiting for you! THIS IS SO COOL! This are choclate bunny heads on a stick. Cool. Slackers are usually broke.. so if you recently quit your job or dropped out of school to become a full time slacker, be sure to get this 70 dollar box of choclates, actually get a few! Then you can be broke like a true slacker right away, without losing your money over time. 'Schwan's Root Beer Float Cups' These things rule... They're sorta shaped like beer bottles, so you can pretend you're drinking real beer like older slackers, and throw them at your mom when she tells you to get off the couch. Or if you're older then I guess you can get some real beer somewhere, but not on halfvalue. The Clothes All you need is a shirt and boxers to be a well dressed slacker. 'Camouflage Tank Top / Camo Tank Top' The traditional Slacker shirt is a white tank top, but be different and get this army tank top instead. So you're dressed and you're well fed.. what's next? Basic Slacker Entertainment 'Yamaha EG-112PR Electric Guitar Kit' A guitar is neccessary slacker gear, even if you suck at it. 'Samsung Tantus HPN6339 63" Flat-Panel Plasma TV' Slackers watch a lot of TV, so why not get a $18,000 TV? 'Xbox With S' And an X Box to go with it! 'HALO' 'Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell' 'Transformers 20th Anniversary Optimus Prime' So now you have a TV! You need some stuff to watch. Stuff to Watch 'Cowboy Bebop Complete Sessions Collection (halfvalue.com Exclusive)' 'Trigun - The Complete Boxed Set' 'Slacker / Movie' 'Slacker Jesus' Bwahahahaha, I have no idea what this is but it's called SLACKER JESUS! bwahahaa.. hilarious. It should be about me, cause I am the Slacker Jesus. 'Family Guy, Vol. 1 (Seasons 1 & 2)' 'Futurama, Vol. 1' 'South Park - The Complete Third Season' Well there's a lot of stuff to watch when you're a slacker. But the following is the most important thing to watch. Porno 'Jenna's Playhouse' 'Girls Gone Wild: Doggy Style' Snoop Dog is DA PIMP! 'Hip Hop Honeys' Some Hip Hop Honeys IN DA HOUSE! I've never seem so many fine young Black honeys. Except in my dreams. There's like 80 of them... all around me shaking their groove thang. More Snoop Dog.. I just love to see his lovely face while I'm watching porn. Other Slacker Stuff By the way you need a couch to lay on and be lazy.. so it has to be comfortable... I reccomend this one: 'Dora Explr Sofa' 'Segway Human Transporter (HT) i Series' And be sure to get one of these so you never have to use your feet to walk again. The last thing you must do to be slacker is never wash yourself. That's it. Have fun being a slacker! |
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